Sarong Party Girls

The Singaporean woman of today: an intelligent, well-educated, independent-minded, if supercilious, female.

1. These skanky hoes think they're more sophisticated than the average Singaporean female, and jump on every opportunity to criticize their own kind and treat them in a condescending manner. All these while placing their white-skinned pretty boy on a pedestal. Ironically, and tragically, this Singaporean tart receives more smiles and better service by the dumb locals (whom she looks down upon), simply because she has a white dude in tow. To top it all off, these harlots get all disquiet when they see an Asian dude with a white lass.

2. These white boys have an asian fetish and long for sweet tight Asian pussy all day. After all, we can't really blame these white boys for not appreciating their crude, oft-drunk obese white bitches. On the other hand, these Singaporean hoes can't wait to hook up a pretty white boy for all the glamor (and cock) that he represents. You see the match.

3. Don't get me wrong: Interracial dating/marriage is perfectly well and fine. In fact, it is a good way to bridge cultures. Not to mention a great way to meet new people. A terrific conversation starter, too, in many scenarios. However, the white male-asian female pairing is almost done to death not only in cities like your godforsaken island, but also in western cities. Sometimes you can't tell whether the lady is a girlfriend, escort, or courtesan. The novelty factor that brings smiles is now slowly turning into a quiet suspicion.

4. With all this going on, can we blame that white trash dude acquaintance of yours for behaving like every Asians female wants him so bad? Can we blame these Asian hoes who have been fed with Hollywood's pretty white boys and white superheroes since young? Is it of any help that you Asians hate each other while worshiping your white colonial masters? (hey, just look at how much you yellow islanders hate those FOBs from your motherland). Is it any wonder that Asians often give one another peculiar looks while giving white people smiles (yes both in Asian and Western cities)?

5. To make matters worse, these Singaporean skanks ditch their own culture faster than they toss their sanitary napkins. After all, why bother with Asian culture when there is the superior and uber-glamorous Western culture?

6. Singaporean ladies are lovely.

Rejections

Mickey Mickey ya're so fine but why would ya wanna lose your mind....Oh Mickey!

I ain't too sure how's its gonna be like from this point on but these few pointers would definitely come in handy along the way!

*Steps:

1. Ask her why she wants to be friends and not more.

2. Find out if she really wants to be friends, and is not just letting you down easy.

3. Become her friend and take it slow. She might be the one for you or may be not, but you'll see
how much you like this girl by how long you'll stick around.

4. Call her regularly (not daily), and test to see if she is legit by not calling for about 2 days. If she calls you then she does like you.

5. Respect her feelings and avoid being too pushy in the future.

*Tips:

1. Don't obsess or she will flee. Never be pushy.

2. She knows you like her. Give her time and space. You've planted the seed; only time will tell if she will reconsider her decision. Remember: she may not reconsider. Don't hold out false hope.

3. If you become her friend and she knows you want to be in a relationship with her, then she might come around and eventually date.

4. It might be a test, she might see how far you'll go for her. Just stay cool and laid back.

5. Be yourself and stop trying to be her boyfriend.

6. Talk to her, don't make her find out that you're sad.

7. If she still doesn't like you that much, just give it up, there are tons of attractive girls out there.

Ultimately, Life is too short to spend it with people who don't appreciate your value or who take advantage of your good nature. If she is not treating you equally well, just give up and keep yourself away from her charm.

Cheater Bug

This couldn't have come at a more appropriate time.

Sounds like your daddy has cheated on a lot of women in the past and now has continued to cheat on your mommy. I see no reason for you to talk to your daddy because I don’t think he will change. Who you should talk to is your mommy. I am not sure what kind of relationship you have with your mommy but I think you should tell her so she knows what is going on in your heart and also because it is definitely not fair to her. Your daddy doesn’t sound like he is going to change any time soon and telling your mommy will probably result in a few things.

One, your parents may get a divorce, which is probably better for your mommy because she doesn’t deserve this kind of behavior from your daddy. Or two, your parents will go to counseling and try working things out. Or your daddy could eventually go back to his old ways. Whatever the case may be, I think it is imperative for you to help support your mommy during this moment of turbulence. Even if your daddy hasn’t seen this women he is cheating on your mom with or whatever, he is still cheating on your mommy emotionally, if not physically.

Expressing to mommy on how dire this situation is will also allow your mommy a new chance at happiness and the chance to find a man who will love her enough to not betray her in the worst possible way if that is the path she chooses to go in response. Your compassion deserves to go not to your dad but to your mom who is the injured party here and to you. I think if you told, it would help lift some of the heavy burden you are feeling but it will take courage and a maturity and helping your mom.

I said a prayer for you, I feel for you and sorry that this happened. If this advice feels bad to you then don't do it but it feels right to me, If it resonates then do it. We are all so much stronger than we realize.

Always here for you.

Save-A-Knee Project 2009

Greetings.

The sad news has befallen upon us that our classmate Edwin Kwee has unfortunately once again injured his knee. I am sure we are all aware that this re-occurrence has taken place several times prior to this latest development. Edwin had previously seek proper medical consultation at Tan Tock Seng Hospital (TTSH) where X-ray sessions has been conducted to ascertain the degree of severity for his injuries. This was followed by several sessions done on his own accord at the Traditional Chinese Medicine(TCM) centre.

As we all know, the cost of medical fees in Singapore are continually increasing and given the nature of his repeated visits to the hospital and TCMs, one can only imagine the burden of costs that our dear friend has to deal with, not to mention the agony of walking and getting on the public transportation services on a daily basis. I cannot remind you enough that Edwin Kwee is our classmate. There must be something that we could at least do in some way or another to reduce his current burden and suffering. I am of the intention to accompany him to the sports medicine clinic located at at Changi General Hospital (CGH) where he can receive proper and suffice medical treatment by a Dr. Benedict who was once a sports athlete too. The vast experience that Dr. Benedict has had with sports injuries would greatly helped to alleviate Edwin's dire need for an immediate cure in hope that he is able to resume his usual exercise regime and regain his normal range of motion for his daily activities once again.

As such, I am spearheading a "Save-a-Knee" donation project in hope of raising funds for Edwin's first medical consultation fees. There would be no obligations on your part and no amount is deemed as too low or too high because at the end of the day, we plead for your kind sincerity and generosity to see that our dear friend recovers fully one day. Donation funds will commence on Monday and proceeds will be handed over to myself or Izzati.

We can all take guidance from these verses regardless of race or religion. Ultimately, we are a CLASS of our own.

"Defend the cause of the weak and fatherless; maintain the rights of the poor and oppressed. Rescue the weak and needy; deliver them from the hand of the wicked." Psalm 82:3-4

Give to the near of kin his due, and also to the needy and the wayfarers. Do not squander your wealth wastefully; for those who squander wastefully are Satan's brothers, and Satan is ever ungrateful to his Lord. (Al-Quran 17:26 - 27)

Your contribution goes a long way in providing relief and comfort. Be generous. Save a Knee.

Thank you.

Staying Strong

You will emerge stronger from this. No matter how far away that future may seem as of now, this period too, shall pass, just as its predecessors have before it.

I am really sorry that you are currently going through so much, but no one's life is guaranteed to be smooth-sailing. It is not a sweet pill to swallow, but that is what life is about. I keep telling myself that the joy of an entity will be compounded further when compared to the alternative, and happier times will be even more cherished after this.

My best advice is to hang in there; nothing lasts forever, and someday this will be just another memory. It's a matter of whether you choose to learn from that memory, or not, is all. If you ever need to cry or rant or scream- by all means, you're entitled to do so. There's no shame in being angry! Just know that no matter what happens, you have friends here who do care for you, genuinely, and that one can never truly learn patience unless he's put in a situation where waiting is imperative.

You WILL become stronger, and you WILL get through this.

Characters

1. Maple doesn't really fancy the idea of embracing someone who's perspiring. It seemed she has an allergic reaction to perspiration, even hers.

2. Julia doesn't really mind being called 'Tchoukball'. She plays even better when that happens.

3. Keith can run like how a rabbit can hump. One can only wonder what his character was in the previous life.

4. Daniel has a throwing force that supercedes anything I've ever seen. He should prolly consider throwing javelins or discus apart from collecting carebears in his personal collection.

5. Samuel possesses this zen of calmness whenever he walks into a classroom or lesson late. It seemed like he's floating on air with a wand in his hand, mesmerizing everyone into a daze.

6. Serene never fails to get lucky in unexpected moments. I reckon its about time she buys a 4D.

7. Izzati gets flu once a month. And when that day comes, we have to learn be extra nice to her.

8. Amelia and Queenie demonstrated what salsa is. And I thought both of them were having fits.

9. Daryl resembles a samurai warrior with his hair tied up. He seemed like the perfect cos play.

10. Despite every individual's myriad of characters, I love them to bits equally, no less.

Heartfelt

Thank you Annisa. You don't know how much this means to me.

Goodwill Hunting

I spend the whole evening watching Goodwill Hunting, bypassing any minuscule thoughts of even reading through any fucking tutorial notes or praying for a Godly fortunate outcome in any of those humanly, obnoxiously judgmental created tests coming soon... I swear ya gotta fucking watch it. I ain't trippin on this but this is the real shit I'm talkin bout here. An excerpt from the show.....

Will: Why shouldn't I work for the N.S.A.? That's a tough one, but I'll take a shot. Say I'm working at N.S.A. Somebody puts a code on my desk, something nobody else can break. Maybe I take a shot at it and maybe I break it. And I'm real happy with myself, 'cause I did my job well. But maybe that code was the location of some rebel army in North Africa or the Middle East. Once they have that location, they bomb the village where the rebels were hiding and fifteen hundred people I never met, never had no problem with, get killed. Now the politicians are sayin', "Oh, send in the Marines to secure the area" 'cause they don't give a shit. It won't be their kid over there, gettin' shot. Just like it wasn't them when their number got called, 'cause they were pullin' a tour in the National Guard. It'll be some kid from Southie takin' shrapnel in the ass. And he comes back to find that the plant he used to work at got exported to the country he just got back from. And the guy who put the shrapnel in his ass got his old job, 'cause he'll work for fifteen cents a day and no bathroom breaks. Meanwhile, he realizes the only reason he was over there in the first place was so we could install a government that would sell us oil at a good price. And, of course, the oil companies used the skirmish over there to scare up domestic oil prices. A cute little ancillary benefit for them, but it ain't helping my buddy at two-fifty a gallon. And they're takin' their sweet time bringin' the oil back, of course, and maybe even took the liberty of hiring an alcoholic skipper who likes to drink martinis and fuckin' play slalom with the icebergs, and it ain't too long 'til he hits one, spills the oil and kills all the sea life in the North Atlantic. So now my buddy's out of work and he can't afford to drive, so he's got to walk to the fuckin' job interviews, which sucks 'cause the shrapnel in his ass is givin' him chronic hemorrhoids. And meanwhile he's starvin', 'cause every time he tries to get a bite to eat, the only blue plate special they're servin' is North Atlantic scrod with Quaker State. So what did I think? I'm holdin' out for somethin' better. I figure fuck it, while I'm at it why not just shoot my buddy, take his job, give it to his sworn enemy, hike up gas prices, bomb a village, club a baby seal, hit the hash pipe and join the National Guard? I could be elected president.

Oh yeaaaaa.....

A Whole New World

After all that has been said and done, I am glad that matters were laid to rest after all those uncertainties and doubt. This by far has been the most amazing journey I've had been bestowed with and I wish it would never end...but every book has a final page and every sunrise has its own sunset. It is time for me to broaden new levels of friendship and venture beyond what I am possibly capable of. I want you to know that I love every single one of you and its all that matters. Till then, keep the fraternity of friendship that we've had in mind, body and soul for those memories are the key to endless smiles in a whole new world.

`Au revoir.

Why NS Didn’t Make Me Patriotic

Why? Because in NS, it really goes like this: I pretend to be a soldier, and you pretend to treat me like a soldier. NS has become so ritualized that serving the nation has lost its meaning.

When something becomes a ritual, it loses its meaning, and whatever passion there was is lost, and what you get are the tired faces and the bad-ass attitudes that are commonplace among the guys serving.

Unless and until the question of purpose and service can be answered, Singaporean men (and some women) will find themselves losing passion for the country they’ve been asked to serve, longing for greener pastures always.

I don’t exactly know where this story should start. Should I start when I left the camp gate for good on the day I officially achieved Operationally-Ready Date (ORD) status? Or should I start when I began school and my first National Education (NE) lesson?

I guess the only way to truly begin this narrative/commentary is at the hospital, where mothers give birth to their baby boys. The moment a baby boy is born and registered, a chain of paperwork is created for him, culminating in him receiving the conscription letter at 18 and donning the camouflaged green uniform, serving out his time on an offshore island roughly northeast off the coast of Singapore.

Of course, all this is provided the baby boy is and remains young and healthy right up to the time he enlists to become a citizen soldier for the Republic of Singapore – a soldier who swears that he will protect the President and the Constitution of our Republic.

Why National Service?

I mean, any decent Sec 3 student will be able to tell you why Singapore needs National Service (NS). He would need to know that, because it is examinable and part of the Social Studies syllabus. If not, it’s likely he would know anyway, because he’d have been told the reason for it enough times in NE – National Education – lessons that he would be able to answer just as well.

Well, we all know how the story begins. Once upon a time, a prince from some Indonesian kingdom chanced upon a piece of rock, encountered a beast he called “Singa”, and promptly called it Singapura. Fast-forward a few centuries, and a British fella came along, bought this place on behalf of the British East India Company (yes, the very same from Pirates of the Caribbean, no Johnny Depp here, sorry), called this place a colony and set up shop here, for the next one hundred years or so.

Then the British abandoned us (sort of, despite investing in defences as well), and the country’s people suffered under the Japanese Occupation. After the Japanese surrendered, the Brits came back, but didn’t stay for long. Then, for a brief moment, we joined Malaysia; but just as quickly as we came together, we parted. Absorbing the lessons from our history, the leaders then decided that to defend ourselves effectively, we had to have our own military, and since we didn’t have the numbers for a full-time army, we learned from the Israelis, and created a soldier out of every able-bodied man.
A sacrifice of 2 – 3 years of each man’s life, spent in training to be a soldier.

Then we release them and let them contribute to the economy as workers, recalling them when we need to.

This is the whole scheme known as National Service.

With such good intentions, how come NS didn’t make me patriotic?

Why, because in NS, it really goes like this: I pretend to be a soldier, and you pretend to treat me like a soldier. NS has become so ritualised that serving the nation has lost its meaning. It’s one thing to have parades every 3 months, but having it every other week is senseless. When something becomes a ritual, it loses its meaning, and whatever passion there was is lost, and what you get are the tired faces and the bad-ass attitudes that are commonplace among the guys serving.

I am not questioning the commitment of military regulars – I merely wish to highlight that sometimes, inevitably, even they might get drawn into this attitude of going through the motions. This is not an issue of complacency or throwing caution to the wind. This is about the nature of military work. Yes, a soldier should behave professionally, but professionalism is hard to come by when being a soldier is a really. boring. job. Just watch Jarhead. Yes, we would all like to be the heroes in Blackhawk Down, but unfortunately, military life is more Jarhead than anything that exciting. And then sometimes you encounter the military professionals who serve in the military not out of a sense of duty or patriotism, but for the need of money.

What exactly are we defending?

Sure, we are all here to ‘defend the nation’, but then, ever so often, the question comes to mind: what exactly are we defending? I don’t think anyone has ever sufficiently answered that question. Sure, we say we are “protecting our way of life” and “keeping our families safe”, but at the core of it, what are we really doing? I mean, if war comes, I think most people would have already sent their families away on any available flight to anywhere. Other families would be safe overseas, and might even have had the time to transfer their assets overseas to begin anew. So, with our families safe, would there be anything left to defend?

Would we be left to defend those who couldn’t manage to buy the tickets in time? Does that mean that the rich would have had priority in getting out? If only the rich get to survive, then would we still be committed to this nation’s defence? If there was a threat of mass military desertion, would the state actually hold our families hostage to force us to stay here and fight? Of course, if it comes to that, we would take up arms, but with a heavy heart. Even if we won the war, we’d have lost any loyalty and love for this country, and it wouldn’t be worth staying here at all.

For me, I would rather be a second-class citizen elsewhere than be treated like collateral here. But of course, this is only a hypothetical scenario – a gedanken (“thought”) experiment. Whether such a scenario plays out remains to be seen.

What other options are there? Are we defending our multi-racial society?

That might actually be something worth defending. But then again, around the world, there are so many cosmopolitan global cities which are melting pots of various ethnicities., where an industrious and innovative Singaporean would be welcomed. Of course, these other places might never be as efficient and effective as Singapore, but if we could live reasonably well, why not? So why, then, would any Singaporean stay to defend our unique, multi-racial way of life?

A question of purpose and service

So let’s consider the question again. What is it about Singapore that we are actually defending? If the values that we are defending are not unique to Singapore, then what is left? A happy island, by virtue of geography and geology?

As it is, the importance of NS is inscribed into nearly every Singaporean’s heart – from National Education in school to the hard, physical tests at Pulau Tekong. It isn’t as if NS is pointless – we still need to guard against conventional military threats or terrorists – but security alone can’t be the be-all and end-all of National Service.

Because at its core, National Service is about defending what is dear to us, and from there, deriving meaning and passion to the things that we do when we fulfill our NS duties. But if NS brings boredom and disillusionment, then the hearts of Singaporeans will be drawn elsewhere, and the hearts of those that stay will be conflicted over whether this nation deserves their defence.

Unless and until the question of purpose and service can be answered, Singaporean men (and some women) will find themselves losing passion for the country they’ve been asked to serve, longing for greener pastures always.

Eddie Choo